GZR dispatches: Denver Undercover, Day 1
These communiques were intercepted over the course of the first day of the convention. Special thanks to Sam Wilson at AT&T for forwarding these (oh dude, sorry, totally blew your cover. oh well,...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: Undercover in Denver - Day 3, Update: King James translation
WTF is this nonsense?{ PreviousNext }So, apparently, Sam at AT&T (sam.wilson@wiretaps.att.com) isn't talking to me since I outed him on yesterday's diary. He says: "You can get all your liberal...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: Saddleback Colonial Translation
Ok, well, thanks to some indiscretion on my part, nobody in any of the wiretapping agencies at AT&T seems to have any interest in forwarding any more text message transcripts. Apparently, I posted...
View ArticleHi, It's God
Hey everybody. Yeah, it's me, God, Yahweh, Lord of...ok you get it. Look, I just wanted to drop a quick note, what with all the nerves and stuff about Gustav, and all the politics and stuff. I mean, I...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: Patriot Edition
Thanks to Gustav and the RNC convention, things at AT&T are a little lax. Apparently, they were all set to conduct intensive tapping around Minneapolis/St. Paul, but then had to scramble their...
View ArticleAnother 72-year old War Hero
So, this diary isn't literally about a war hero, or someone with any pregnant children (that I.... know of). But it is about someone who, having emerged from danger, risked his health to go back and...
View ArticleSarah Palin Beats Pants off McCain
Don't look at me that way, I know which way the wind is blowing. If I want to write a diary around here I know it has to be all about Sarah Palin (to quote Falco: Sarah Palin Sarah Palin - Oh Oh Oh -...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: Hey GZR, Lv ths kidz alone
As those of you following this series might be aware, these dispatches have been somewhat unreliable of late. My primary source for these txt logs, Sam Wilson (samwilson@warrantlesswiretapping.att.com)...
View ArticleHi. God Again
So, against my own better judgment (righteous judgment, I might add), I went ahead last Sunday and posted a quick note to sort of weigh in on the whole "smite-by-weather" debate that seemed to be going...
View ArticleC:\MyDocs\2004\FakeOutrage\CheneyGayDaughter.DOC
As an insecure straight male, let me just open by saying: I am hot for Joe Biden. This vid from the front page yesterday is one of the reasons why (the other would be his Axe body spray: Bullshit!...
View ArticleHey "EnergyTomorrow": Bite me Today.
Look, I don't have a lot of time in my day. I work at home, often in my pajamas, but I do have a family to tend to, an elderly cat, and lot of inane comments to spout on a certain liberal timesink that...
View ArticleKing raves, "I'm car oil"
Like the rest of us, I'm sick of hearing what a Maverick Johnny Mac is. Now that he has a sidekick, it's even crazier. But in truth, they are, and always have been, the "Original Mavericks". Now that...
View ArticleStupid. Liar. Facts. Update.
Sometimes, when I don't want to get out of bed and get to work, I turn on MSNBC. It takes usually about 5 or 6 minutes of Joe Scarborough's giant foothead to get me up and out. Today, it took 2. To no...
View ArticleIf They were French: Gibson & Palin
Sometimes it's hard for our global readers to fully appreciate the nuances of American political discourse. For the benefit of our readers in France (whom we all, of course, secretly adore and seek to...
View ArticleBush Doctrines: A Primer
To all those in the liberal media - quit playing gotcha with Sarah Palin. She may not know all your fancy terms and Harvard ways, but you'll never be able to match her in sheer moxie. Your jealousy of...
View ArticleThe Smell of Stupid
We talk a lot on this site about some very basic electoral science: framing, values, gut vs. head, etc. Most of us have read Lakoff, or have an ounce of common sense, and we know, when we see one of...
View ArticleMy McCain Claw: Why Johnny Can't Email
No Kos diarist needs to be reminded that they're writing in a liberal echo chamber and that their thoughts will never escape the kososphere (unless they can be interpreted as elitist or offensive by...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: GZR created teh intarweb edition
What exactly is a "GZR Dispatch"?{ Previousfkn hell! stox down again u own stocks?of course. who duznt? melol. u r poor u 2, apprntly..LOLno sht. if gzr wins im puttng all my cash...
View ArticleTwo Novembers
For people who didn't think the Hadron Collider posed any serious threat to the planet, it's probably pointless for me to get too far into the physics behind the Two Novembers. I'll therefore include...
View ArticlePolitical Correctness 101: GOP Edition
[WARNING: SNARK]In an email circulated to McCain Aides and leaked through the sieve of NSA/AT&T "Liberty Servers", a leading campaign figure offers McCain surrogates a crash course in gender and...
View ArticleTalk Like a Republican Day
Yesterday, I came across a diary decrying the frivolity of "Talk Like A Pirate" day and reminding us all that pirates were evil, criminal, genocidal maniacs. Many commenters made the point that the...
View ArticleThe Uncle in Florida Poll: Obama 100, McCain 0
While I'm a junkie for the daily trackings in general, and really love the daily kos poll, which I just assume has to be a work of fiction thanks to my inherent pessimism, I put most of my stock in one...
View ArticleWhat Hank Paulsen MUST do to make the Bailout COOL.
I am what you would call a "disaffected" voter - one of those people who is certain that, no matter who gets elected, the following will continue to be true:}* Money will buy influence }* I will pay...
View ArticleDebate Zinger Workshop
This recommended diary from this morning made a good point about debates - the zingers. Our media and most of the electorate are so profoundly stupid, that these one-liners are really about 90% of the...
View ArticleKos, Can I have two Diaries on Saturday?
Look, before you all flame me for making an idiotic request like this, just hear me out, okay? Here is the thing: it's my basementI have, probably not unlike most of you, a veritable sh*tload of paint...
View ArticleGZR dispatches: Old, Miss Debate Edition
What exactly is a "GZR Dispatch"?{ PreviousDOOD! We’re on! on wht?the debate - its happnng. we got 2 prep wtf! gzr was all: blah blah blah suspendng campaign. I ordrd paypervwdumbss. u...
View ArticleMcCain sings Simon & Garfunkel (vid/snark)
I normally have deep intellectual scorn for political humor, especially of the video sort, but I've had this song kicking around in my head ever since JeffLieber used it as his soundtrack in a diary...
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Post-Debate Poll: Who was Taller?
Well, the last-minute maneuvering and political grandstanding didn't get in the way of a great debate on Saturday. Now that Ole Miss is just about done stacking the chairs and taking down the...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: Extreme VP Debate prep edition
Apologies for the extra long dispatch. Can't focus on anything serious. Too excited for the debate....What exactly is a "GZR Dispatch"?{ PreviousDood. U there? wtf... hold on. just wakng...
View ArticleFalling Flat on Your Achilles Face
Well I am shocked.Shocked, I tell you, because the Punditocracy have decided to sidestep the issue of whether or not Sarah Palin understood the expression "Achilles Heel".Folks. This is not like...
View ArticleSurvivor's (Second) Dumbest Contestant Could be VP (Video Mashup)
I'm going to admit to watching Survivor here, so don't judge. It was a show I started watching years ago when I had a flu and I got hooked.If you don't own a TV, and you only listen to NPR on a...
View ArticleHug Him!
Alrighty. I firmly believe that not all republicans are racist. I am ready to totally admit that some republicans may not be sick, bigoted, ass-backwards medieval jerkwads. Furthermore, I'm completely...
View Article/'pɔkistan/
So, the right wing is all a-fwitter over Obama's pronunciation of "Pakistan" in the debate and wherever else he happens to talk about that country. Conservatives on the right (I know, that's like...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: Angry Mob Edition
What exactly is a "GZR Dispatch"?{ PreviousDood. gzr wnts u at teh rally 2day whch 1?the 1 wth mcveep and stpfrdwf NO FCKNG WAY. I wnt 2 the last one. sum guy startd callng my bbry...what...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: Conservative Intellectualism Edition
What exactly is a "GZR Dispatch"?{ PreviousU finish yor homewrk yet? wht homewrk?DOOD! dont make jokes. ok. what homewrkU were suppsd to come up with a reason for gzr to suspend the debte...
View ArticleGZR Dispatches: Mission Demolished Edition
What exactly is a "GZR Dispatch"?{ Previousgratz, dood. we made it omfg. miller timecant beleve we wrnt fired wks ago no sht.not sure how to put all ths on my resume lol. 2007-2008...
View ArticleImportant Updates to Jamie Dimon's Account
Dear Mr. Dimon,This letter is in reference to your checking account at JP Morgan Chase Bank. Please read the terms carefully, as important changes have been made to the fee structure. The revised terms...
View ArticleLOL, Obama's ignorant
So I'm sure it was refreshing for republicans, because we know how much they enjoy Countdown with Keith Olbermann, to see our President make the worst persons list yesterday, along with Michelle...
View ArticleConfessions of an A-thletist
I am an English-speaking, heterosexual healthy white male in his 30's. Aside from being born in another country and being ineligible to run for president, the country is my oyster. Cabs stop for me...
View ArticleYou probably think this song is about you
It's been a few months now since John Stewart's face-off with CNBC's Jim Cramer. We've moved on, of course, but that interview remains one of the best modern examples of a journalist effectively...
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Cheney V. Twitter
RichardBruceCheney Dear Twitter,I am writing to you, via your own communications service, to express a number of concerns pertaining to the conduct of a numb RichardBruceCheney Dear Twitter,Let me...
View Article"Douchebag"
As a 30-something with clients, a wife and a young daughter, I understand that "Douchebag" is a word that really can only be enjoyed in certain company, and that, to the bulk of polite society, hearing...
View ArticleWTF, MSNBC? I got kids here!
I'm one of those earth-hating hypocrite liberals who talks a good game about saving the environment but who doesn't have the self-discipline to turn off a TV when I leave the room. I mean, yeah, I have...
View ArticleBow. Wow.
For a whole day, all anyone in the news could talk about was a big empty bag of air, floating around the country side, promising an exciting and heroic story, but delivering instead the insane...
View ArticleI welcome Mandates and Fines
There's been a lot of whinging on this site about the current senate HC bill and its mandate that we all buy insurance or be forced to pay a fine.Some have called it a bailout of the insurance...
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I got your outrage right here, Arianna
This'll be longWhat. The. F*CK?I get that traditional print media is dead or dying. I get that we're somehow expected to pay $500 for an e-reader and another $100 a year or so for subscriptions to...
View ArticleGeithner wants to implement the "Toonie"
According to an unnamed source familiar with Timothy Geithner's movie preferences, the Treasury Secretary plans to push hard for US adoption of the Toonie, a 2-dollar coin popular in Canada."He watches...
View ArticlePaliwocky
Twas Wassilig, and the emptious twirk did spouff and mimble on the wane all bigotty were her twitterimes and her logity unsane
View ArticleBernie™ finally lost me.
I've been pretty quiet this cycle. And pretty much every cycle since 2008. I was stoked with the Obama win. Happy and satisfied that we had a smart, classy, passionate philosopher president in the...
View ArticleIt's like arguing whose turn it is to do the dishes — during a home invasion
I used to write on this site a lot. My only recced diary, I think, was a tribute to the word “douchebag”, so take anything I have to say with a grain of salt. I used to use humor to capture what I was...
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